Strangelove Addictions – Part 3

A recent conversation has inspired me to break out another round of my strange and unusual fictional crushes. You’ve already been shown some of the stranger ones (round 1 and round 2) but this one might have several folks nodding in agreement with my choices. Well, with 2 of my 3 choices. I doubt there’s anyone who will agree even slightly with the last one.

Phantom of the Opera

Ye gods, that man is lickable

Erik, the Phantom of the Opera

Now I know I’m not the only person who crushes hard on the Phantom. In fact, phanphic was some of the first I ever wrote and delved into online. There are many a rabid phangirl who would like to slap the shit out of Christine for even considering leaving Erik for Raoul. There are several reasons why this particular fictional crush raises eyebrows. First off, he’s somewhat of a psychopath. I mean, the man is an admitted murderer and he is prone to sudden violent episodes. In some versions he’s also a drug addict (previously heroin and opium, later in life morphine). As for his face, that never bothered me though I’m sure some folks aren’t so keen about it.

But have you heard the man sing? True, I will always hear him as Michael Crawford (though Ramin Karimloo is now a close second) but in every version his voice is described as beautiful beyond words. He lives for music. Though he is a genius and has many talents, music is what runs in his veins.

And let’s not forget I have a thing for men in tuxes (with tails!) and wide brimmed fedoras. *shiver*

Animated Series Joker

Send in THIS clown!

The Joker

Once again I have to admit that I have a crush on a psychopath. And he’s a clown! (which, if you know me, you know that I have a fear of clowns) Again, a murderer (and damn proud of it) and violent but I get happy chills every time I see that smile or hear that laugh. Since there are MANY incarnations of the Joker I guess I should specify that my preference is for the comic book and animated series Joker (voiced by Mark Hamill). Ledger’s portrayal is very good and though I really enjoyed it he’s not my favorite.

But why do I write many a smut fic about this man and put myself in Harley’s place? (Don’t judge me!) I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s the nose. As y’all know, there’s something about an awesome nose that attracts me. (also, there’s the tux with tails!) As for why this is the one clown that doesn’t frighten me….the only thing I can think of is that he at least doesn’t pretend to not be insane and evil. Kudos to him for that.  In any case, it is a “Mad Love” that I have for the Joker.

Gorbag the Orc

Don't ask. Just don't ask.

Gorbag the Orc

Yeah. I really can’t explain this one. It’s even stranger than my desire to play with Freddy’s knives or to shag Beetlejuice till he begs for mercy. I mean, this is an Orc.


Who in their right mind would ever watch the Lord of the Rings movies (this is from Return of the King), see a particular Orc and think, “hey, he’s kinda cute”?!

Apparently that would be me. Which just proves the point I’ve been trying to make for years: I am most certainly NOT in my right mind.

I’m not actually sure if I’d want to do the horizontal mambo with this orc but I can’t deny (no matter how much I really really want to) that I think he’s attractive in an extremely weird way.

Again, I blame it on the nose.

Stupid nose.

Yeah, feel free to judge me on this one. Hell, I judge myself on this one.

Hi, my name is Elf and I find an Orc attractive.

There’s no coming back from that confession.

~ by rumielf on March 21, 2012.

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