The Lone Ranger 2013 – My Judgmental Bitch Review


I’ve been curious about this movie since I first hear about it’s release. Unfortunately, I missed it at the $2 theater near my house and had to wait for it to come out on DVD (thank goodness for Netflix). This weekend I finally sat down and watched it, wondering if it would be as bad as folks said.

To my pleasant surprise, I enjoyed it. Now, maybe I need to explain that my grandfather loved his westerns and I grew up watching them with him. My stepfather also loves them, particularly the older shows and whenever I go home for a visit, I end up watching a ton of old western movies and shows. I have a fondness for such things, in all their silliness and cheese.

So maybe that explains why I really enjoyed the new Lone Ranger movie.

It took the basic story of how the Lone Ranger came to be and it brought it to a new audience. I’m guessing that most of the folks watching it have probably never seen one of the older westerns so this was a lovely introduction. To me, it felt like a modern version of the westerns that I enjoy.

The acting was wonderful and I admit that I thought Johnny Depp did an excellent job as Tonto. I didn’t find it racist (and as I’m a quarter Blackfoot, I actually have the right to be offended if I want. Seriously, if you aren’t part Native American, why the hell are you even getting offended? But he did well. Hell, even the Comanche have no problem and were happy with Depp’s actual speaking of Comanche in the movie.). And maybe it’s just because I’m used to old westerns that I didn’t think the broken English was offensive. I’d like to think it’s because not much offends me.


“Do you even know what Tonto means?”


Then again, folks can take offense to anything.

The Lone Ranger himself….was fun. The hero who never planned or wanted to be one. At least, not in that fashion. The love story, I could have lived without it. But I understand why its there. After all, many of the old westerns had such a love story, usually ending with the hero parting ways with the woman. Life in the wild west, right?

The stunts (many of them done with awesome wire rigs as noticed in the outtakes) were well done and didn’t feel contrived. At least, not to me. I admit that I miss the days when stunts actually happened. Like someone really leaping from a horse to a train without wires. But in the days of lawsuits and medical care costs, I understand why wires are used. At least it means that most folks are doing their own stunts.

And at least it’s not as much CGI as was used in the horror that is known as the Star Wars prequels.

Now for my unhappiness. I love Tom Wilkinson. I really do. That man plays a villain like nobody’s business. But in this he felt a little too….over the top?….smarmy?…..something. For once, this professional writer doesn’t have the right word. However, he grated on me in a way that a good villain shouldn’t. I should love to hate a villain. This one just felt wrong. I preferred his counterpart of Cavendish. At least I loved to hate him. I’m not saying Tom Wilkinson was bad in the role. Far from it. I think the character itself was….off.

The score. How about that score? I love a few particular composers with a loyal and lasting passion. Hans Zimmer is one of them. That man, with the power of his score alone, managed to make me like the second Pirates movie. On my first watching, I actually thought it was “meh” and I was dead sick of the love story. Then I got the soundtrack and just listened to the music. It changed my opinion and I went back to the movie to give it another try. Focusing on how the score brought it to life, I could suddenly appreciate it.

All of that to say, I listened to the score for The Lone Ranger before I watched the movie. And I already enjoyed the score. I knew that it could save a terrible movie. It’s a good thing that the movie was rather good and the score just made it even better. Hans Zimmer brought in the music that has been the theme of the Lone Ranger (the William Tell Overture) and blended it perfectly with not only his own original work but with the action and pace of the movie itself. These days, many scores seem to be so removed from the movie they are a part of. Gone are the days of musical cues that highlight what is happening (one of my favorite examples is the score to “Clue”. Just listen how that music goes perfectly with each scene). But folks like Hans Zimmer (and my other favorite composers) remember that the score has to compliment the movie and each scene of it. Mr. Zimmer, I applaud you for your most excellent work on this one!


Who doesn’t like a good explosion?


So I have no real complaints about the movie. I enjoyed the pacing, the setup, even Tonto’s backstory and how the whole thing is told through an older Tonto’s point of view to a child who idolizes the Lone Ranger. Forget the critics. How many of us actually care what those pretentious fucks think anyway? Go and rent/buy/borrow the movie and form your own damn opinion. Go into it knowing that it’s based on old westerns and you might find that you enjoy it more than you thought you would.

And remember, never take off the mask.


~ by rumielf on January 20, 2014.

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