Born to….run?

I’m not a runner.

At least, I used to be able to say that.

Today marks one year since I took up running as a hobby/exercise/distraction. I’m still running today so I think that makes me a runner, even if it’s a reluctant one.

I was never a runner in school. Hell, I hated PE or gym class. I was younger and much smaller than everyone and had the bonus of no depth perception. Already uncool among the uncool, I was not picked for teams or anything in PE classes. Sports were the bane of my existence, with volleyball still maintaining a special place in hell in my mind. That isn’t to say I wasn’t active. I played outside and loved to bike and so on. In high school, I was in marching band. And if you think that isn’t an intensely demanding activity, as much as any other sport, you need to endure 2 weeks of bandcamp in a Tennessee August, marching on blacktop. Go on. I dare you.

But I wasn’t a runner.

I’ve had unhappy knees since I was in high school but it wasn’t till college that a doctor explained to me that I had patella tendonitis in both knees and little to no cartilage. That would explain the grating sound of my kneecaps as well as the pain that I often dealt with. So running was never on my mind. I mean, I’d run in place for short times for a warm up or something, but nothing extended. I didn’t see the point. I did download a ridiculous app called Zombies, Run when it came out as it seemed like it might be able to get me to at least walk regularly but lack of time and motivation had me forgetting about it after just a few missions.

Cue meeting Tobi. My friend, Nick, starting dating Tobi and once he brought her to karaoke for us to meet, she and I hit it off immediately. I’m not sure how she became one of my best friends so quickly, but I can’t imagine her not being a part of my life. Tobi likes to run. And she likes to do races, like 5Ks. She finally was able to drag me to one in June 2019. I probably only agreed because it was being hosted by the Nashville Predators and I am a hockey fan. So, for my friend, I did my first 5K.

I was surprised I wasn’t dead

I have no idea why anyone thinks a 5K in Tennessee summer weather is a great idea. I walked most of it. I tried not to collapse during other parts. I moved. I died. I moved again. And I finally crossed the finish line. A banana and a beer awaited my dehydrated and exhausted butt. I couldn’t fathom why anyone would call that fun.

My first 5K time

Toward the end of the year, Tobi got the word that she was being transferred to an army base several states away. And Nick would be going with her. So in February of 2020, right before the pandemic really came to light, we decided to do one last in-person 5K, the Hot Chocolate 5K, which she assured me was worth it for the hot chocolate at the end. And on that below-freezing morning, I managed to get a slightly better time than my first race, though I couldn’t feel most of my appendages. I told Tobi that I would work on getting a better 5K time so that when she came back in a few years, she wouldn’t have to mostly walk it next to me.

Then the pandemic hit. And my 16 year old cat, Ash, died on March 15th. My office was given the work from home order the next day. I was told by multiple people that I was overreacting to the virus and its threat (this continued through most of the year). My stress level, and my depression, were going through the roof and my sleep became abysmal. I had trouble falling and staying asleep. I would wake constantly through the night and then wake extremely early and be unable to go back to sleep.

On March 30th, I woke up extremely early and finally decided to try a new thing. I had downloaded the Zombies, Run 5K training app and I thought, since I didn’t have a commute, why not put on warm clothes and try the first session. If I didn’t like it, so be it. But at least I wouldn’t be laying in bed, depressed and stressed out. I made it through the entire mission even though I could barely breathe after running for 30 seconds. But I didn’t hate it. Even at the age of 39 and a half.

Way too early

For eight weeks, I got up and did the run/walk/interval training that the app put me through three days a week. Early in the morning the was no one around and it was often the only time I felt like I wasn’t overwhelmed with everything else. The final mission of the last week was a solid 5K run. I did it in run/walk intervals of 2 minutes each. But I did it. I was even treated to actual proper running shoes after that since I had decided to stick with it.

The final session of the 5K training

And I did. Three days a week I wake up early, put on my running clothes and headphones, start up my music and a mission on the ZR app….and I run.

If you’ve never tried the Zombies, Run app, I highly recommend it. And the 5K training app. I used to joke that the only way that I’d ever run is if zombies were after me. And the app does that. You become Runner Five for Abel Township, set in a post-zombie apocalypse world. The first mission of the main app and the 5K training app are the same, but after that, the 5K training app falls in the storyline between that first and second mission of the main app. There are no spoilers and you can run/row/workout with the main app without it. But it’s a neat addition. There are a ton of extra missions that have been developed, zombie-related and not. As well as the Homefront missions which offer workouts. The app itself has a free version that offers a weekly mission unlock. There is also a paid version that allows access to all the missions except the Virtual Races, and finally a VIP paid version that provides access to the races and a discount code for merch. You have the option to run with the GPS on or to simulate running (like if you’re indoors). You can also turn on zombie chases where you have to speed up and maintain that speed to escape without losing supplies. It’s a neat story that I’m a part of and I love it. I only let myself listen to the next mission if I run. It’s part of my incentive. I want to know what happens next and that means I have to run.

Also part of motivation is the My Peak Challenge program. It’s a fantastic program developed by Sam Heughan (from Outlander) that offers structured workouts, a nutritional plan, plenty of videos to help you know what you are doing, and a massive online community. Some folks sign up just for the community. Others follow the workouts but not the meal plan. The best part of the program is that you are encouraged to do what feels right for you and at your own pace. You can start at any point through the program and it’s brilliant at making sure that you don’t hurt yourself while also pushing yourself. The main thing is that they do encourage folks to set a challenge for themselves. What would they like to change or do? I’ve been a “Peaker” for…four years (I think). And while I follow the workouts, I often fall off the wagon. Still, the community of folks is there to help talk me back onto my feet! I fell off the workout wagon not far into the 2020 program, about the same time I took up running. So I decided, rather than beat myself up over not working out regularly, I would focus on running and trying to make that a habit. That would be my challenge.

I wish I could say I’ve lost weight from running. But I actually put on seven pounds over the first several months! I like to think that’s just my running muscles. Maybe.

Yes, I bought a second pair of running shoes just for their look

True, I run inside the house now. I run tiny laps around the downstairs as there are too many people outside, even as early as I run. And I just don’t want to chance that in a pandemic. I run at least 5K each time. And I now own two pairs of running shoes (both are Brooks, my first pair will have to be retired soon), knee braces, a GOOD pair of bluetooth headphones (Aftershokz and I swear by them), and I have a wall of medals from virtual races.

I’m not sure I could say, without hesitation, that I like running. It still hurts. I don’t like waking up early. And running in tiny laps gets boring. And it’s not any easier. My brain still does its best to get me to take a day off or stop sooner than I want. I’m tired and I admit, I don’t really want to run. But I do.

My second Hot Chocolate race…this time I did a 15K

But I run anyway. I run because it helps my mind to stop dwelling on depression or anxiety and instead focus on keeping my form, making sure I don’t trip over my own feet, watching my breathing, and listening to the app. For that length of time, there’s a weird sensed of peace. Not that I’m calm or anything, but it’s a different sort of peace. Even if it’s just a half hour to get in the minimum of 5K that I set for myself in a run, or longer if I have the time before work or on the weekend…it’s time that’s entirely to myself and I can avoid thinking about anything else. I keep running because I get sad or more stressed when I miss a day. I keep running because it’s a small personal challenge and one that I’ve actually been achieving. And I hate quitting.

I run because that’s the habit that’s now in my muscles three mornings a week.

I run to keep my depression and anxiety just a tiny bit at bay.

And I just ran my first half marathon (at the age of 40 and a half!). Two days before the anniversary of my first day of real running.

I’m sort of proud of myself.

Guess I’m actually a runner.

(I blame Tobi for this.)

Hail to the King, Baby

Pawprints on our hearts….

It was a normal day at my last job until a coworker mentioned that she’d found a lost cat outside her house. He was young and extremely friendly so she knew he wasn’t feral. But no one was claiming to have lost a cat. She took him to the vet that I used and there was no microchip, but he was healthy and about 2 years old. And would need a home.

Geeky Adventures – Take 2!

Remember when I flew to New York just to see Beetlejuice the musical and then flew back right after the show?

Well, I did it again. With an adjustment.

I’m going on an adventure!

There And Back Again, A Beetlejuice Tale

I’m not much of a spontaneous person. I over-plan things like a fiend. And I stress. And I make lists. And I worry. I’m also not exactly rolling in the dough. With bills, a car payment, and a student loan, I can’t really save up for large things like vacations to Harry Potter world in Florida, to the beach, or to anywhere. Mostly because the savings ends up being used for something else. So I watch, slightly envious, as my friends go on these amazing vacations and post all the photos and tell the stories. I love hearing about them and I love when they message me from their vacations and adventures. But I’m always a little sad that I can’t do something like that myself.

My judgemental bitch review of “Phasma”, a new Star Wars novel

I’ll admit right now that I’m one of those fans that freaked out when it was announced that the Star Wars novels I’d loved over the years were no longer going to be canon. I practically threw a temper tantrum.

It was rather impressive.

After all, these were the stories before, during, and after the saga that expanded the universe and gave me hope. I cosplay Mara Jade and still ship her and Luke (and will to my dying day). Grand Admiral Thrawn made me fear a genius intellect in an Imperial uniform. Chewie’s death affected me so profoundly that I actually halted reading the expanded universe novels for a couple of years. But those became my world. To have this world suddenly relegated to “non-canon” felt like a piece of my soul had been ripped away. But after watching “The Force Awakens” and “Rogue One” I was willing to give this new world of Star Wars novels a chance.

Happy 50th Birthday, Star Trek!!

It’s the 50^th Anniversary of Star Trek.

I remember the first time I watched an episode. It was in the 6^th grade and I wanted to stay up later on a school night. My mom told me that I could but only if I watched the TNG episode that was on. I was a kid, of course I’d do whatever I could to stay up late.

“All we need is just a little patience…” – my Guns N’ Roses Experience

It was the summer of 1991 and I was 10 years old, attending a 4-H camp between the 6^th and 7^th grade years. I was nervous as I didn’t know ANYONE and was younger than many of the other campers in the same grade level. Still, I went.

One of the older girls in our cabin had a tape player. She had a variety of music that she liked to play loudly, but one song caught my attention. The sound of it. The guitar playing. It was something I hadn’t heard before and I was hooked on it. They played it several times over the course of that camp and finally I asked her what it was.

“Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” by Guns N’ Roses was what she told me.

I asked her if she had any more by them and she played “November Rain”. The length of it didn’t matter to me. Only the music.

And such was my introduction to Guns N’ Roses, a band that I’ve loved since that summer day when I was 10 years old.

Goodbye, Mistah J

It’s been a couple of weeks now and though I’m not positive, I think I can write about it.

Jacob died on July 19^th.

Terminator Genisys – My Judgmental Bitch Review

I saw Terminator Genisys last night. Before I start into my review, let me give you a little background on my love of the Terminator series.

I very clearly remember watching Terminator 2 for the first time when I was young. I remember being fascinated and terrified by the idea of a computer taking over and trying to kill humanity. I remember loving the strength of Sarah Connor. And I remember crying for the Terminator as he was lowered into the steel. Sarah Connor immediately became one of my role models. I watched and loved the first Terminator movie not long after, though it still didn’t replace T2 as my favorite. The music was immediately added into my small collection of cds at the time. And I’m fairly certain I wore out 2 copies of the first movie’s score by the time that I hit college. My love of the franchise extended to the point where, during my first year of college, I made a horrible movie called “Terminator: The Musical?” with some friends. This movie still exists in various personal collections around the world.

When Terminator 3 came out, I was excited and hopeful. Only to have that hope shattered. The movie was TERRIBLE. Then came the Sarah Connor chronicles. I gave them a hopeful try and stopped partway through when it really felt like they lost the overall meaning of the series. The fourth movie, Salvation, was better but the horrible score (it’s the only thing by Danny Elfman that I’ve ever said that about) and the plot that I really just didn’t care about left me thinking that the series might be better if left alone. After all, no one would ever make movies of the T2 book trilogy that I so love (by S.M. Stirling. Give them a read!!).

All of that to say, I love the Terminator franchise. I do. And I’m weirdly protective of it. I don’t hold back discarding movies and scores made in the franchise that are awful and don’t keep to the high standards set by the first two movies. I’m very picky about my Terminators.

And now, Genisys. The initial reviews from my friends were primarily negative. I was told that as such a big fan, I would likely be okay with it but it wasn’t great. I was already hesitant as I knew the movie was going to be messing with timelines. Which can lead to horrible things if the story isn’t told well. But I went to watch it, still harboring some tiny flame of hope.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

A hole in the Discworld….

Rest in Peace, Terry Pratchett

It’s been a bad couple of weeks for geeks. The passing of Leonard Nimoy a couple of weeks ago was sudden and threw most of us into a very sudden stop. After all, Spock was supposed to live forever. Right?

Still reeling from that one, but slowly recovering….

Then I saw the news just a few moments ago.

Terry Pratchett has passed away.

And suddenly I can’t brain.

An apparently sensitive topic: Tauriel

I’m about to state an opinion that may get me unfriended by several folks on FB.

I liked the character of Tauriel from the Hobbit movies. And I liked the addition of the romantic story line.

Before you freak out on me, let me explain why I have the opinion that I do. Please note that spoilers for all three movies will follow.

Goodbye, Pickle

It’s been a day since I got the news.

One of my good friends since the sixth grade, Mike Semich, has passed.

It’s hitting me hard as Mike was the first friend that I made after my family moved to Murfreesboro,TN from Alabama that summer before the sixth grade. I had skipped a grade so I was younger and far shorter than everyone else in that classroom. And most of them had grown up with each other so I was the odd one out. To this day, I can’t remember exactly how we became friends, but it seems like from the start we were hanging out. He lived in my subdivision and on the way home the schoolbus would drop him off before me. Sometimes I’d get home and throw some popcorn in the microwave for a snack. Mike had the uncanny ability to appear at the back door the moment I took that popcorn out of the microwave.

I remember the hanging out, the silliness of playing on the internet through Prodigy and then AOL with him. One great memory involves a game of truth or dare. He took the dare and ended up prancing around the room wearing a pair of my mom’s heels, a decorative straw hat, and carrying my mom’s purse, while singing “Natural Woman”.

My 13th Birthday

Mike constantly teased me about being short. So much so that I think he liked my kicks to his shins and would encourage them. He called me Short Round which usually earned him a punch on the arm and a grin. Even when we made it to high school, we stayed friends and I finally got to give him a nickname, Pickle, after the color of his JROTC uniform. By our senior year my mom and I were able to find a glass pickle ornament that we gave to him for Christmas. He was with me during my ongoing feud with our Chemistry teacher. And through the other subjects that we constantly found ourselves taking together.

Mike was there when my Mom got married to my ex-stepfather. He was one of the ushers (along with many of my friends) and also ended up catching the garter while my Nana caught the bouquet. Gotta admit, the picture of the two of them is even harder to look at now.

Mike and Nana

Daniel, Mike, my Mom, Steven, Virginia, Trey, and Ryan

And then my family and I moved to California the summer of 98. I had a going-away/early birthday party with friends, including Mike, that were able to make it out. The night was fun and crazy and I have many pictures scattered all over my house and in albums from that party.

Going Away

Through the five years in California, Mike and I stayed friends even if we didn’t talk nearly as much. I came back to Tennessee in 2003 and through the joy of social media, we reconnected. Though we didn’t see each other in person as much, we’d run into each other at reunions, and at the strangest of places. And I followed his life on facebook when I didn’t see him.

As an army brat, I moved a lot when I was young. And many of the friends I made in places got lost when we moved again. Mike was the first friend that I made after the move to Tennessee 25 years ago. He’s been my friend ever since. Knowing he was here in this world, just a message or call away, made him a reassuring and rare constant in my life.

Until yesterday when he wasn’t.

I lost my oldest friend this week.

I’ll miss you, Mike. I’m not ready to say goodbye, but then, I never would be. I’ll be singing “Natural Woman” for you at the next karaoke night. And I’ll try to do it without crying. You made the world a better place. And you helped a short, nerdy, new schoolmate to learn to make friends again. You may not have ever realized how much that impacted my life. But I really don’t know what I would have done without you. I have so much more that I wish I could say but it’s already hard to see through the tears to type. Just know that I’m honored and proud to have known you and to have called you my friend.

Love,
Short Round

Strangelove Addictions Part 4

I realized today that it’s been awhile since I reflected on the strange characters that I end up crushing on. Far too long since my last post about them! So let’s get rolling!

The Streak, and My Heart, Lie Broken on the Mat

The Death of the Streak

For the first time in many years, I cried after a wrestling match last night.

My Guilty Pleasure

Until a couple of years ago, I scoffed at food trucks. I had checked out their menus and prices. I watched their locations. And I found them to be overpriced, yuppie located, hipster food vehicles. So I never bothered to eat at one.

Then Pablo convinced me to try some french fries from a food truck at an art show. I was hungry and had to be at the show till 10 that night, so I figured why not? If he wanted to get fries, I would try them.